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  • Sarah Chouffot

Why I Fell Out Of My Family Tree - The Scapegoated Child

I came across these pictures 2 years ago and my jaw dropped.


I grew up thinking that I was the worst of the worst. I was called "Turnip", "Toxic", "Wendy Whiner", and told "get used to saying 'would you like fries with that?'". I could go on for days with all the mean things that were said to me in my childhood and adult life by family members, but that's not the point. When I saw these pictures, it finally clicked and made me explore; am/was I really that bad?! Oh heck no!! I was not responsible for everything that went wrong in my family as well as my parents mental health struggles. They were!! SO I left. I tried to get understanding from my family, but it was not there. Why? Because it is easier for them to believe I am the villain than coming to the realization that they were incredibly verbally and emotionally abusive. Since I was the Scapegoat, I decided to just jump out of the family tree. Sadly I hit every branch on my way down, but after a lot of hard work, I got up and dusted myself off and will never look back.


 

The pictures in this post explain what can happen to a child when parents and grandparents do not deal with their own trauma. They pass the trauma on to their children. The child grows up with the most negative inner critic possible. They hear their parents voices, criticizing them at every turn.

Now, there is the other side of the dysfunctional family spectrum - the golden child. With that title, it makes it sound like they got away unscathed. Nope! They grew up being pinned against the scapegoated child and had to take the side of the parent instead of growing a strong bond with siblings. They grew up learning to suppress emotions in order to keep the parents happy. Their emotional needs were not met.


Both the scapegoated child and the golden child are victims of emotional abuse.


If you identify with these patterns of family dysfunction, know that you are not alone and YOU WERE NOT THE PROBLEM!


Let's bring awareness to generational trauma so we can stop this cycle!

Scapegoat

Scapegoat

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